Guest Essay by Alan M. Simon

Make a zygote and call it a life.  Eat eggs for breakfast.  “Those are my babies. I had to keep them.” Nadia exclaims with moral self-righteousness on the news. Do not destroy the zygote at any cost.  It’s what God wants.  Through the advanced technology of medicine, with the work of forty-six doctors and countless nurses and technicians, eight, one-and-a-half pound beings enter the world as celebrities.

The Right to Life crowd sings praises for God’s tiny miracles (of modern science) but then, as the story unfolds, blogs are ablaze with strafing criticism and promises to forego financial support.  Grandma, at a loss as to what to do, flees her own home to escape the 14 science experiments Nadia cooked up. Nadya will tell you her parents were definitely lacking. She will be a MUCH better parent. She studied child development in college. With 6 already, she had 8 more babies all at once anyway.  Did Nadya use taxpayer money? People are outraged! Nadya must pay for what she has done!  Don’t expect a nickel from us!  Shame on Her! But how do you get from a zygote is a human life with all the rights attached, to complete lack of support after birth?  It’ll be ok.  Movie and book deals are in the works. The market decides.  All she needs now is good lawyers.  Oh. Right.

The hypocrisy involved at all levels of this debate is staggering.  Time to pray, since reason is not involved.  Fourteen children under the age of 7, a single mother who says she wants to breastfeed the newest 8,“I’ll stop my life for them.” As if having eight babies at once WOULDN’T stop your life?  What about the first six?   Dad was a needle and the bed was a petri dish. The biological father “needs time” to adjust to the scale of his brood. Fame and fortune abound for those who seek it, but most will agree it’s wrong to have babies for those reasons. It’s also wrong to prevent women from choosing abortion for the right reasons. The degradation of actual life at the expense of possible life, in the name of fame, or naming a zygote a human being in the name of morality, is immoral in itself.  It allows for embryos destined for the trash to receive support where people needing cures for injury or illness do not. Mental illness, abuse, neglect, poverty, slavery, famine, war, and genocide; life is precious but not always good.  Hopelessness abounds for millions of people.  Don’t worry.  People in government are working very hard to make sure your tax dollars are not spent on these problems. The irony is, they are also working very hard to make sure we create more of these problems, eight at a time if possible.  Every zygote is a human being with all the rights of you and me.

When stressed by the environment, female animals sometimes kill their young to procure their own survival.  They do so without thought but through the instinct for self-preservation.  It’s just part of being female.  Humans differ only in that our cerebral cortexes allow us to debate the act.  Those who seek to legislate to exclude the individual from determining her own ability to give life to another individual, and provide for the survival of that life, tread too close to personal space and obstruct her ability to procure her own survival. Offering a life not of choice, but of consequence.   Mostly these are not immaculate conceptions, like Nadya’s, yet we rush to place shame, blame and punishment squarely on women and “precious” children by refusing support once they are actually born. Suffering mothers and children in dismal lives don’t generally get book and movie deals.  We prefer the bizarre and infamous. God bless America.  Ah well, time for breakfast.  Don’t even get me started on the ethical treatment of hens.

Guerrilla Comics: THESE GOATS ARE TIRED.

“These Goats Look Tired. Maybe We Should Rest ‘Em For A While.”

LAP DANCING!

LAP DANCING!

Hop On Pop.

If you don’t appreciate this, move along.

If you do, please check out our Feature posted here, titled Twin Midgets and dated 22 September, 2008. You could even just click on “Midgets” to the right.